Is there an innate worthiness (or unworthiness) to something? Or is it all relative?

Bloopers

I grade about 150 papers each week and sometimes it helps to get unintentionally funny answers.

Q: What is the area of this bacterial colony?

A: 18 hours (underlined, too)

Q: What is the diameter of this bacterium?

A: 3 micromolar

Q: How many bacteria are there in this colony

A: 10^-7 (yes, fractional number of living things. w00t!)

Q: Define recombination

A: A process by which chromosomes exchange information with each other (Facebook for bacteria. EM profile pics, anyone?)

Perceptions

I am teaching a bunch of students and have to give them a test at the beginning of every class to see if they have come prepared for the lab. I gave the first one last week and when I was correcting the answers, realised that the average was less than 70%. I wrote an easier quiz the next time around and, at the end of it, asked them how they felt. Having seen their low scores on the first one, they all said, 'So! Tough! Much tougher than the first time'. But they had all done better on the second one - an average increase of 15%.

I wonder how much such thinking affects our daily decisions. Do we find everything harder if we fail once?

Hmm..

Something simple?

Something about this song reminds me of starry nights

and the sound of rustling tree leaves

Little Wisdom

Conversations with the baby cousin

Cousin: Akka! I really miss you. There is still 6 months before you come back. Romba bore adikkardu

Me: Seri, next June Madras ke vandurta?

Cousin: No akka, I don't want you to come here before you finish studying. I will not ask for you before you are done. I am just saying that I miss you.

I really did not expect such sweetness.

Attitude is altitude

So, I am at MIT for their big commencement weekend, but it's my mother who sends me an email titled, 'I am thoroughly plastered'. Eh? Shouldn't that be my line?

I was checking this on the tiny ipod screen, so I looked again. Yep, it was from Amma. No doubt about that.

Odd.

By this time, they had started playing the ja-ja-ja-JAaaen music - the graduating class was entering. I listened to the valedictorian's speech, the dean's non-speech (there is a guy in the class who says he got his degree just by imitating the dean - 'This boy, Rob? He shall pass'), one thatha's speech (he's been at MIT for almost 60 yrs! After spending the last three years in three different countries, I am oddly fascinated by this story), a violin-piano duet and contributed to the final cheer when the class stood up. Good job, Sam!

In the night, I checked my email again. Amma had broken 4 bones in her foot. And now had her leg up in an enormous cast. She had emailed me and my aunt to give us the details. Me, well, because I think I have scared her a little. If I had heard from someone else, I would have thrown an unholy tantrum (Yes, I am quite the soul of consideration. It has been the main topic of conversation in many family gatherings - 'Indha mokka mookuku ivlo kovam vendaame'). My aunt 'cause she is our ministering angel. Family doctor is such an inadequate term.

After I read it, I was more amazed than concerned. She could have just lain around and gotten pampered but had written a nice, cheerful email instead. And snuck in a joke.

Whatever it is

that makes her like this,

I fervently hope

is hereditary.

"Once an aspiring music critic, she is now happily married to Mr Venkatesan , a Chartered Accountant.."

Iyengarvaal maadiri, music critics ellam family ku othu vara maata.

From here

How did people work before earphones?

Carrier Woman

When my mother started working, she was probably among the first wave of women who had real career ambitions, who were willing to put their work and family on the same footing. I love her to bits for paving the way for me - I did not have to fight so many battles because she had already fought them for me. Unfortunately for her, neither of her kids went down the Engineering-Medicine-atleastCA route. It was bad enough that anna studied law, but when I started college, this is what she heard.

Random Colleague: Aaa Madam, daatar 12th mudichitaangala?

(Your daughter has finished 12th?)

Amma: Aahn, mudichuta

(Yeah)

RC: Ippo enna panna poraanga? Engineering-a Medicine-a?

(What is she going to do now? Engineering or Medicine?)

Amma: Ille avo biology..

(No, she was saying biology..)

RC: Oooh, 12th le bio group a. So daactur amma va aaga poraangala. Heh heh heh, appo ungalukku vayasaana kaalathula selavu micham nu sollunga. Avangale vandhu oosi pottuduvaanga. Hee hee hee.

(Oh, she was in the bio group in 12th? So she is going to become a doctor. Heh heh heh, you are saying that you can save a lot of money when you grow old. She will be able to give you all the injections. Hee hee hee)

[Let's not go into his morbid view of my parents' retirement]

Amma: (tries a different tack) Ille, ava, biotechnology...

(No, she was saying biotechnology..)

RC: Ennanga?

(What was that?)

Amma: Biotechnology padikkara pora

(She is going to study biotechnology)

RC: Biotechnology a? Endha collegenga?

(Biotechnology? In which college?)

Amma: Singapore le...

(In Singapore.. )

RC: Singaboor a?! Avlo dooram anuppareengala??

(In Singaboor?! You are sending her that far away??)

Amma: Anga daan research..

(That's where research..)

RC: Ennanga?

(What was that again?)

Amma: (gives up) Ava poganum nu adam pidicha

(She insisted on going there/she threw a tantrum)

RC: (he is now on familiar ground) Enna madam idhu, ipdiya panradhu? Chinna pasanga, avangalukku enna teriyum? Ketta anuppi vidradha? Namba daane budhi madhi solli, nalla line le sethu vidanum.. Neenga ennamo solreenga, bioteknaala ji nu, adukku enna scope madam irkum? Enna degree kadaikum?

(What is this, madam, is this how you behave? What do they know? They are just small kids. She asked for it and you sent her there? We are the ones who should counsel them, make sure that they join a good 'line' [no, I don't know what that means, either]. You are saying something about bioteknaala ji. What kind of 'scope' does it have? What kind of a degree is she going to get?)

[Scope is usually code for 'return on investment'. How much how much the degree costs vs how much you can earn at the end of it. 'Good scope' means that there is high initial investment, but it is a blue chip degree - engineering, medicine. 'No scope' = low investment, no return - fine arts degree. 'Good scope these days' = high investment, questionable return - MassCom/VisCom, Fashion technology/Design]

Amma: BSc..

(BSc..)

RC: (explodes) BSc?! Oru BSc ku poi-a faarin anuppareenga? Ivlo selavu panni.. Enna madam idhu. Romba thappu panniteenga. Aduvum ivlo chinna ponna poi.. veli oorukku anuppi... Ennamo ponga..

(BSc?! You are sending her abroad to get a BSc?? It will cost so much.. What is this, madam?You have made a big mistake. That too, such a small girl.. sending her outside the country.. )

(At this point, he usually leaves, wondering why my parents did such a fool thing and imagining all kinds of dreadful future scenarios for me and anna)

Outside, when he meets another friend, he tells him -

Madam, orey carrier carrier nu irundutaangala, adaan pasanga rendu perum danda sor-a poitaanga.

-----

Danda soru = wasted food.

My poor brother got dragged in because he studied law. You only do that if you want to become a thug or a criminal. Dinchyu know?

Dad's advice to me on getting married -

'Pick a boy who knows how not to pick a fight. Two people picking fights is not a good thing'

:S

The darnedest things

When I was at home, taking the Big Break and pretending to be all cultural, I was learning to dance. I would get nicely decked up, wear a dance sari and cycle to my teacher's house. This was in Chennai, in the summer, and usually, the class lasted for one hour. So, once on my way back, when I saw an elaneer kaari I stopped. Just then a kutti girl also came with her cousin/neighbour/maid's daughter. Non-mother older female, essentially.

Me: Neenga first vaangikonga

(You can get yours first)

NMOF: Ille ma, nee vaangiko

(No no, you should get it first)

Me: Parava illenga. Chinna ponnoda vandirkeenga

(It's ok, you've come with a little girl.)

NMOF (to kid): Ei Surudhi, enna maadiri kaai venu? Thanniya vazhukkaiya?

(Ei Shruti, what kind do you want? One with lots of coconut water or with vazhukkai [this is the gooey white endosperm - yummilicious])

Kid (to me): Un per enna?

(What's your name?)

NMOF: Shu. Apdi ellam kekka koodadhu.

(Ssh, you shouldn't ask questions like that)

Me: Akka nu kooptuko

(You can call me akka [elder sister])

Kid: Ei akka, saari keezha yaaraadhu pant poduvaangala?

(Ei akka, have you seen anyone wear a pant underneath a sari?)

Gotto love Indian kids.

Conversations with the kid sister

I have an ickle baby cousin. Ok, she isn't ickle or a baby anymore. But I was 16 when she was 0, so, in my head, she is still only as tall as the two-tiered shoe rack.

Still, she comes up with gems. Especially when talking about her future.

Cousin: I am going to have a 100 kids

Periamma (my mother, her aunt): Really a? Your mother is having so much trouble with just you, how are you going to handle 100?

C: That's easy. I will bring up the first three. Adukkuapram, the oldest one can take care of the fourth, the second one can take care of the fifth...

P: :O

The best wedding ever! The best chocolate milkshake ever! The most awesome small hole in the wall!

Why do we need hyperbole to justify our lives?